The Falling of Makoto Tachibana
by Phoenixis1
Summary: Makoto Tachibana has always been overlooked. The sweet and generous teenage swimmer had always had certain problems of his own. They told him to never change and to keep going, but sometimes, you just have to stop and start over.
1. Fallen

The Falling Of Makoto Tachibana

You never know where some people will go  
Yeah some people been hurting me  
You can tell by the look, by the slightest crick in the neck or the blink of an eye  
Well they'll say what they say  
And they'll do what they do  
But it doesn't mean a god damn thing

-Constant Conversations by Passion Pit

"Makoto! Makoto!"

I try to tune out their voices, but it's no use. Their cries over-shine my sweaty palms pressed hastily against my ears.

I'm getting tired of Japan.

It's only been a year, but one year can change a lot. My tender age of eighteen means that I'm getting close to adulthood. I'll have my independence. Maybe go to college. I'll do whatever I choose. Now I understand Haru's point of view. I'll be _free. _

In one year, I beat Haru.

When I was seventeen, Haru was the star. Even _Nagisa _adored him. I mean, what's not to love? He was perfection. His electrifying blue eyes, the way they sparkled whenever someone mentioned water. The tousled jet-black hair that flopped just the right way. He was mysterious, just the way most of the girls wanted. And last, he was a champion athlete, outshining the others. I didn't hate him, I mean, he's my best friend. To tell you the truth, I was scared.

Scared of always living in his shadow. Everybody adored him. I just wanted the same chances and admiration. He got the friends, the deals, the scholarships, the praise. I just, I couldn't.

That's when I decided to try.

I trained more hours than anyone else that year, ate healthier, focused on nothing but swimming. I tried to feel the water just like Haru, I tried everything. Even my 5 year old brother noticed I was acting differently. I was obsessed.

And it worked.

Just 5 months later, at the Midsummer Tournament at Tokyo, I beat him by ½ a second. He was happy for me, clapping me on the back, saying that he didn't care at all about his time, and that I did a spectacular job. I was happy, but it didn't feel right.

This wasn't what I wanted.

I wanted to feel something, to tell myself that I had accomplished my goal. I

didn't. I earned the publicity I _didn't _want. Now, reporters and paparazzi crowd around my house and my school each and every day, asking me personal questions. It's awful.

It doesn't matter what happened in the past now. I'm going to start over, and it will be the best thing that ever happened to me.

AUTHOR"S NOTE

Hey! Thanks for reading the first chapter. Yeah, I know it wasn't very long, but it's just the intro. So yeah, stay tuned, and check out Constant Conversations by the band Passion Pit!


	2. Support

The Falling of Makoto Tachibana

Chapter 2: Support

But I'd rather live telling the truth than be judged for my mistakes  
The falsely held up, given props, loved and praised  
I guess I gotta get this on the page

Feeling sick and helpless, lost the compass where self is  
I know what I gotta do and I can't help it  
One day at a time is what they tell us  
Now I gotta find a way to tell them  
God help 'em

- Starting Over by Macklemore

My mother peers at me through puffy, bloodshot eyes.

"Makoto."

She's staring at me now, her face filled with worry.

"Are you okay?"

I refuse to look at her, dread brimming in my eyes.

She sighs. "Look, go off to school now, your father and I have something important to say to you and your siblings after you come home, alright?"

I just nod solemnly, my hands balled into fists in my grey hoodie, something I'd learned to wear from Nagisa. He seemed like the only one I could actually talk to without feeling terrible nowadays.

These days, I just want to sink into a hole, and never come back.

I don't exactly visit Haru anymore. I tell him that I can't always be there for him in the future, and so he better manage his time more efficiently, but that's obviously not true. He's capable, if anything, he would be the one rising up early, extra early every single morning if it weren't for his incredibly intricate fondness of water. Today, I glance at his apartment as I walk by, just as he comes out.

"Makoto." he whispers delicately.

"You're so cold now."

I just glance at him, emotions flowing madly.

"Come on, I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything." he grabs my arm.

Great, now he's turned into me.

"I can't."

He sighs. "Makoto what's up? You've turned into me."

I breathe in deeply.

"You'll know when you need to know."

He stretches his arms out, and I hug him, ((AN: Yeah um BTW I'm not shipping Haru and Makoto together.)) his demeanor is awkward, but after being best friends for this long, he could understand me.

"Wait." I recoil, my walls are up again, the ones that tell me I can't trust anyone ever again.

Haruka stares at me. "Look, whatever happened to you has made you all cold, and I suggest you come back to us when you have yourself all figured out. If anything, you're hurting everyone else by being all negative. We respect you Mako-chan, but your attitude torwards life is really worrying us all, and if you are going to be all bitter, and not try to accept anyone's help, then you're just a coward. What did we ever do to you?" His tone is mad and raw.

Suddenly, I'm angry. Angry at him, angry at every one because they don't understand.

He huffs, rolls his eyes, and slings his bag over his shoulder, and slinks towards school.

"You don't understand! You just don't! You're so ignorant, and…"

"I don't care."

His tone stings me, and I drag myself along the road, my life purpose questionable.

"Dear, god or gods or whoever's up there," I stare up at the cloudy grey sky. "Help me, what do I do next?"

We fell so hard  
Now we gotta get back what we lost... lost...  
I thought you'd go  
But you were with me all along... along...

AUTHORS NOTE:

Oh yeah, it's definitely getting serious. Stay tuned for the next chapter, Makoto's family is changed forever…. and as always, all lyrics in this chapter are from Starting Over by Macklemore, so check it out!


	3. Anguish

The Falling of Makoto Tachibana

Chapter 3

Anguish

_How does a heart love, if no one has noticed  
Its presence and where does it go?  
Trembling hands play my heart like a drum,  
But the beats gotten lost in the show_

_-Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met) by Panic! At The Disco_

The hours pass as quickly as day touches night. I wrap my arms together, cold from swim practice. The light to my front door is off, as is every room. I stare at it in confusion. As I open the door, my cat brushes against my foot, meowing anxiously.

"What is it?" I shake my head, knowing she can't answer. The phone rings, and I grab it gingerly.

"Hello?"

"Makoto!" my mother gasps hurridly. "Come, come now!"

"Mother, mother, what-w-what is it?"

"Your brother! Come now! The hospital!"

The line is cut off, and I pace around desperately.

'It's too late for a cab.' I think, gritting my teeth together.

'I'll run.'

I scramble out the door, pulling my jacket off the hook, and I take off running. The sky was foggy, dusk approaching quickly. My heart is racing, and I can see a tear falling from my eyes.

'C'mon Makoto, stay strong. You may have almost failed everyone else, but you have to stay strong for him.' It circles around my brain.

Who am I?

I start to question my humanity, the last year's events twisting and turning, flopping around, emerging to the present of my brain. Haruka, my obsession, our talk, or well, I guess you can say arugument, Rin's return, the swim club, everything.

_The world may call it a second chance  
But when I came back it was more of a relapse  
Anticipation is on the other line  
And obsession called while you were out  
Yeah, it called while you were out_

_ -The Calendar by Panic! At The Disco_

What have I turned into?

I guess I got so crazed I turned, bitter?

No that's not it.

I must have, they just, well, did I ask for too much?

_Our consciences are always so much heavier than our egos  
I set my expectations high  
So nothing ever comes out right_

_ -Turn Off The Lights by Panic! At The Disco_

'Ever since we met Haru, I've been jealous of you.' I think silently in my head.

_Ever since we met  
I only shoot up with your perfume  
It's the only thing  
That makes me feel as good as you do  
Ever since we met  
I've got just one regret to live through  
And that one regret is you_

I want to be like you. I tried. But at what cost?

My thoughts swirl around, and I'm about to fall until I catch the sight of red hair.

Red Hair.

Rin.

"Rin?"

He smirks and pulls me to my feet, his arm supporting me to his car.

"Makoto Tachibana. What are you doing running in the late evening?"

I shake my head. "The hospital."

He laughs and pushes me into the passenger seat.

"Sit down. You and I are having a little talk."

He pushes a piece of fish at my face, the oils glistening.

"Fish?"

He shrugs. "Yah learn things."

My head burns with nausea as I stare at it. _Fish._

'_Haru, I'm sorry. I think.'_

"Having a 'lil trouble there?"

"Shut up Rin."

He gapes at me mockingly.

"Yo, gods, has sweet, generous, _caring_, Makoto finally snapped?"

"Look, please just stop. I've been through a lot."

He raises his eyebrow, and starts the engine, heading to the hospital.

"Look, if you are jealous about Nanase, don't worry, I've been through it."

"But, you're so _tough,_ you can handle it."

"_Tough, huh? _I still have nightmares about it. I could barely handle it."

I stare at him in shock.

He sighs and runs his fingers through his choppy crimson hair.

"_I'm not who people think I am. I'm just as human as everyone. Maybe I've changed because it's my way of coping? Don't make the same mistake I did Makoto."_

And with that, he pats me on the shoulder gruffly and I exit the car heading towards the hospital entrance.

"Good luck."

Oh Rin Matsuoka, you aren't who I thought you were. But for that, I am thankful.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey guiseeeeee, well anyway, sorry for all the Panic! At The Disco quotes, lawls. Anyway, doesn't it seem like their songs fit in perfectly with this story? 0_0.

So anyways, stay tuneddd… -Phoenixis1


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